Holy Hand Grenade

Lore & Background

The Holy Hand Grenade is carried by Brother Maynard's assistant and functions as a visual satire of the Sovereign's Orb. Its usage instructions are read aloud by Brother Maynard (Eric Idle) from the fictitious Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9–21. The text parodies the King James Bible and the Athanasian Creed, beginning with Saint Attila raising the grenade to bless it so enemies may be blown 'to tiny bits.' The specific ritual commands the user to take out the Holy Pin, count to three ('no more, no less'), and then lob the device. The text explicitly warns: 'Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two... Five is right out!' This scripture also contains a bizarre list of feast items including lambs, sloths, carp, anchovies, orangutans, breakfast cereals, fruit bats, and large chu before being interrupted to skip ahead.

In Their Own Story

After the Rabbit of Caerbannog decapitates Sir Bors with a single bite and kills Gawain and Ector, King Arthur panics and orders a retreat. The surviving knights regroup while Sir Robin asks if running away more would confuse the beast. When Sir Lancelot asks about bows, they recall possessing the Holy Hand Grenade. At Arthur's prompting, Brother Maynard produces the grenade as the cleric reads the instructions from the Book of Armaments. During the ritual, Arthur pulls the pin and begins counting 'One! Two! Five!' before Sir Galahad (also played by Michael Palin) corrects him: 'Three, sir!' noting that Arthur's innumeracy is a running gag. Arthur then yells 'Three!' and hurls the grenade. It soars through the air accompanied by angelic choral a cappella, bounces once, and blows up the killer rabbit, allowing the knights to continue their quest.

Reader's Guide

To properly utilize the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, one must adhere strictly to the instructions found in the Book of Armaments. First, remove the safety pin from the globus cruciger device. Next, count aloud to exactly three; counting two or four is forbidden, as is reaching five. The text states: 'Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.' Once the third number is reached, throw the grenade toward the foe. In the film, this method successfully destroys the Rabbit of Caerbannog, which had previously killed multiple knights. Note that attempting to count to five results in failure, as demonstrated by King Arthur's initial mistake. The explosion also attracts police investigating a separate murder earlier in the film.

Did You Know?

• The grenade is described as a visual satire of the Sovereign's Orb of the United Kingdom.
• Sir Robin mistakenly counts 'One... two... five!' before being corrected by King Arthur to say 'Three'.
• The instructions for use are read from Chapter 2, verses 9–21 of the fictitious Book of Armaments.
• After the explosion kills the rabbit, the scene cuts to a modern-day police car arriving after the knights have already left the cave; the explosion itself does not attract policemen.
• The grenade is carried by Brother Maynard's assistant and functions much like any other hand grenade with a safety pin.